"No farewell words are spoken, no time to say goodbye, you were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why..." - OurMiscarriage.com
Yes, sad...but true :(
Baru je update on my entry here about the good news. But suddenly now, i'm preggy no more...so saddd...huk...huk...huk...
But not to worry, i'm a bit ok now. Time heals i guess...so let me share this one of the sad journeys of my life...losing my baby at 11 weeks of pregnancy...it's hard, really really hard...
It's all started 1 day before raya (can u believe this? of all the time, my baby decided to leave us just before raya). So as u can imagine my raya and also my birthday which happened to fall during raya this year were a bit gloomy as I carry around my dead baby inside. I was bleeding 1 day before raya, just a few drops of blood. At first I was not that worried because few days before I had brown discharge and I thought maybe this is normal for pregger to have some discharge every now and then. However when I saw fresh red blood, I decided to share this with my hubby. He freaked out and asked me to get dressed and go to nearby clinic. So just to calm him, I just follow the lead. All the clinics near my house were closed because of the raya week so I told him well, maybe it's nothing and maybe it's normal. So we decided to relax and just wait and see later. But on the way back we passed by Columbia Asia Hospital which was just opened in front of Jusco Cheras Selatan so I said to my hubby, lets' just check if they have any gynae there today.
And so we went there and check for available gynae. And they do have a Chinese lady gynae that day (Dr Lim). We were lucky! So I just arranged for a walk-in check up and after 2 patients I was in. After briefing her on my conditions, we went through the ultrasound. That was the time my raya mood all gone. From the ultrasound she found out that my sac shape was abnormal, it was crooked, not in round shape as it should be. And also my baby was really small, size of a 6-week baby when I was 10 weeks pregnant and the saddest part was that she couldn't detect the heartbeat. She asked if I was certain on my last period date. I mentioned to her yes, it's confirmed and told her that I had an ultrasound scan on fifth week and the doc had detected my baby's heartbeat. Had knowing this, she mentioned that it was almost confirmed that I just had a miscarriage :( To make me feel a bit better since the next day is raya already, she gave me Duphaston for 4 days consumption and asked me to return on Friday for confirmation and perform D&C (dilation and curettage) right away if it's confirmed.
On Friday we went to PCMC instead ;p (because we want to have a free D&C and it's easier to arrange in PCMC as I have my previous pregnancy record there). Dr Seri was not around (of course!!!! it's still raya week ;p) so I went to see Dr Paul Tay. We had another ultrasound and the findings were the same as the previous ultrasound except this time my sac shape looked more normal (maybe due to Duphaston consumption). My baby size was still 6-week size so Dr Paul mentioned that it's confirmed I had a miscarriage and asked if I want to deliver the foetus normally of to perform D&C. I don't think I can wait for the foetus to come out naturally, as in wait for my water to break, having contractions and deliver like delivering a normal baby...huhu. It was enough for me had to carry the foetus inside me for 4 days knowing that my baby had died :(( So I opted for the D&C right away. Dr Paul arrange for the operation theater for the next morning as I need to fast for 6-8 hours before the procedure.
And so I had delivered and separated with my baby on Saturday, 3rd September 2011, definitely a date to remember. I want to share a lot of things that I learnt about miscarriage but I just couldn't yet now. Writing this already made me sad and want to cry (and I'm currently at Big Apple Donuts cafe now so definitely no drama allowed please ;p) so will save it for the next entry (I hope ;p)
